Good timing or a Calendar Coincidence?
On the heels of the most indulgent holiday we have all year is it a coincidence that the New Year, the season of renewed self-improvement, is upon us? After all the over-eating, the over-spending, the one too many festive cocktails or the few less days at the gym…along comes the moment of resolution! Now who doesn’t like a fresh start, a new beginning, a chance to turn the page in our story book…of course it sounds great but how many of us actually succeed at fulfilling those resolutions?
The truth is – most of us will do the same thing we do every year: set some goals and by the second week in January, we’ve forgotten all about them. Whether it’s eating healthier, starting a meditation practise, gym-going or money saving…unless we are truly ready and committed to making these shifts in our life – the odds are, we’ll be unsuccessful.
Of course New Year’s Resolutions can be a great motivator for us and for the small percentage of you that set SMART goals (you know…specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) you might actually make the changes you set out to make. But if you’re the person who is making a resolution for the sake of doing it, or obligation because it’s that time of year or even because someone else has recommended or is expecting you to – don’t!
Instead…how about we propose an alternative way of seeing the upcoming New Year!
What if we did nothing?
Instead of finding ourselves in the exact same spot, the same time next year, feeling the same way, thinking the same thoughts…why don’t we try something else: What would happen if we made no resolutions at all and set no goals for 2018?
Maybe we enter the New Year with the notion of being absolutely present, positive and knowing that we’ll end up doing everything we are suppose to do, as and when it was suppose to happen.
Stop the conversation with yourself that commits you to changes you are not ready to make – with the negotiation that what you didn’t achieve this year, you’ll definitely get to next year…undoubtedly followed by a perpetuating cycle of negative self-talk, disappointment, feelings of failure and inadequacy for not succeeding. Aggghhh…I can feel the heaviness from here – the unrelenting pressure of our “must have” positive outcomes.
A New Year with zero pressure?
Why not enter the New Year with absolutely no pressure? Enter 2018 being open to new beginnings, believing in your potential and holding space for the abundance of possibility and for what is already yours. Being receptive to change, craving new experiences and being armed with endless wonder and even compassion for yourself when maybe things don’t go exactly as planned.
In 2018, be witness to all your doing, to all your many achievements you never planned or thought possible. You will be amazed with all that unfolds in front of you – your successes and all your accomplishments.
Hal Borland says the “a years end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instil in us.”
Why haven’t you succeeded?
Have you ever wondered why you haven’t succeeded at your previous Resolutions…year, after year, after year? Don’t worry – you’re not alone! Of course there are a handful of reasons, individual and specific for each of us – but all with the same ending.
Humour me for a second and lets go a little deeper here… maybe it’s because you didn’t really want to do that “thing” you set out to do, maybe you were actually looking for something more soul-fulfilling or meaningful, maybe with all those years of resolutions you set goals without really knowing what you truly wanted. Are your resolutions based on the expectations of others…Are they driven by conformity or what society says is “normal?” Are these goals and resolutions truly aligned with what your heart desires?
Try for just a second to let go of the expectations and the pressure you’ve piled on yourself to succeed at something that you may not be truly whole-heartedly committed to. How does it feel, take a breath, are you free?
How about this…Get to know you!
Take a minute, sit quietly, and breathe.
Be present. Go inside. Get to know yourself. Be here.
Create space for what will come and knowing that it will, opposed to the predicting of what could be and the what “if’s” it is or it isn’t. Let go of the expectations of others – stop living your life through the eyes of your neighbours.
Instead get to know you, find out what feeds your soul, what makes you sparkle…and do it, do lots of it! Let this New Year be a clearer, lighter, more positive and abundant road in getting to know you, a journey of self-actualization, an authentically unique path to you.
What does your path look like?…More importantly, what does it feel like to you?